From Woodstock up: The Journey

Whole hearted Sacrifice: No Cattle, Sheep, Goats or Doves required: Romans 12:1

What Can separate you from the love of God? Can any pain separate you? Or any loss and grief of any kind?

For His anger is but for a moment, And His favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.(Psalm 30:5)

Can you conceive of your pain, your loss, as a gift? I have learned to and received many blessings in return, as I turned one loss and then many more into a sacrifice. It isn’t the blessed, “everything you ever dreamed of” life as a Christian. Its neither pleasant or easy, and it may even cost a life but it is a lesson worth learning. Joy comes in the morning (Psalm30:5) Let me start here:

God has my whole hearted, undying devotion. And He has caused my vineyard to be fruitful with blessings upon home and hearth, our land and our family. Our picturesque log home is surrounded by quaint farms and homes with red barns. The fields are now bursting with corn “as high as an elephant’s eye”. Even the careers he gave my husband and I were blessed and fruitful. It wasn’t always so.

On our mini farm we literally have a little fox who lives in the creek that cuts through our land. He is red, cute, delightful and very welcome to stay. Another fox was killed in the road a while back so I pray this little guy will be protected. However, heartaches have come from those “little foxes” who sneak in to steal that peace from my vineyard, bringing the sorrows of this world.

For example, when my adult children struggle with their health, losing a job, or the trials of a new relationship I patiently hear them out and try to minister the peace of Jesus and the truth of Gods fearless love. But sorrows do come and must be overcome in this world just as Jesus promised- He has overcome the world (John 16:33). As long as we live these little foxes will come into our vineyards. Though our children, as I mentioned bring little foxes with them because they live in this world, I welcome them and nurture them. I hope to tame and train out any unhealthy impulses that cause them to handle life ineffectively; and never to push them out or away. 

I know there are personal dangers that come with both the real and the figurative fox (thankfully we don’t keep chickens!) In our family we can’t even discuss politics or cultural differences let alone religion. A sign in our north-woods hangout says “The ‘My Surname’ Looney Bin: No Politics, Only Loonatics allowed” LOL You ain’t kiddin! But Jesus hand feeds the whole worlds’ big and little foxes, keeping them at bay, so our vineyard will not be destroyed. He has got us covered, caring more for our children and home than we can. We only need to manage our own, with the loving power of His Holy Spirit presence.

But then there was the fox that didn’t make it. I had one of those too and it either kills you or makes you wiser and stronger. An accident took the life of my young son, when he was only 8 years old and he ran in front of a car one day. I watched in horror as he was fatally hit. In the hospital, I knelt beside him, praying for hours. Late at night, I was given a vision by God of my son standing on the other side of a creek and beyond him were other children gathered around a man I took to be Jesus. He wanted me to come with him because it was so beautiful and he said, “Its just like Ireland only greener”. He had recently visited there. I told him to go on ahead and I would come later. He passed on then, I think, looking back at me wistfully, although his strong little heart kept beating until morning.

I chose to accept the loss bravely and make my crippled life a living sacrifice, wholly unto God.. Because God must be Himself and He hates sin and Satan but loves justice, He accepted me and used me in the wisest way He could. He knows how to make meanings out of loses and breath life into those loses. He made me a counselor, as job opportunities opened up to me. I was already a LSW working with families and children. Two weeks after my sons death I was offered the position of Social Worker at our pregnancy care center, helping women to choose life and giving life, hope and healing to women who had lost babies through abortion. I could do this because I had been given the gift of a vision of my son in heaven when he died. Like a near death experience, it forever changed my perception of the reality of God and Heaven. A truth such as that which you have seen is impossible to ignore, and becomes a powerful witness to others.

I have also seen God breathe life into a young Veteran, wounded and spent, willing he had died and that man now revives the lives of other veterans with his compassionate music; a gift from God given through a man who sought meaning from his pain. He has been on the stage with famous singers at the Grand Old Oprey, and because he is so vulnerable and real about his PTSD and the way he asks God “who do you choose to come back home?” his music ignites life in those other wounded and spent seekers who now flock to hear him. He gave his health and wholeness, as well as his right to be bitter about his physical, mental and emotional loses, to his God. And on the alter of sacrifice it became a sweet fragrance unto God.

Loss is a gift to be given back to God and His purposes. That’s what makes it a sacrifice. Romans 12:1